the apparent natural order of things

SHOP 1:

potential training-shoe-purchaser: Hello.
first shoe-vending-shop assistant: Hello! May I assist/vend you anything:
ptsp: These are my feet.
fsvsa: Hello!
ptsp:Observe their width.
fsvsa: Heavens!
ptsp: Here are my current trainers. Observe the wear pattern.
fsvsa: Ah yes. You have normal feet and need not be conned into purchasing footwears designed to counter unnatural ankle dispositions.
ptsp: Excellent. I wish these shoes to be replaced, comfortably, and preferably with increased durability.
fsvsa: Over which terrains will Sir be wearing the intended replacement shoes?
ptsp: All, though primarily flattish man-laid road surfacings, though grip would also be required on hills and up trees.
fsvsa: Of course. One moment - I shall fetch some from downstairs suitable for wide feet and mixtured surfaces.
One moment later...
fsvsa: Behold! This brand manufactures footwear suitable for people with wide, stable feet with laterally exuberant toes. Please test them upon your feet.
ptsp: Marvellous. They all fit, especially the first pair. They bounce significantly, too, and none have too large a gap in the middle of the heel where an pointy rock might wreak terrible damage on the heel-bounce-enabling system.
fsvsa: Super.
ptsp: The only problem would seem to be that these are all gleamingly white, with day-glo accents and piping. Do they come in any less ostentatious colourations, or are any of your shelf-ful of more modestly unobtrusive training-feet likely to fit?
fsvsa: No, and no. Bouncy shoes for wide feet and mixtured surfaces seem to only come in white, unfortunately.
ptsp: A shame. Many thanks for your help. When I next need some predominantly white training-shoes I shall return.

***

SHOP 2:

ptsp: ...
second shoe-vending-shop assistants (x6): *ignores*

SHOP 2, TEN MINUTES LATER:

ssvsa: What?
ptsp: Hello. I'd like a pair of training-shoes please, ideally suitable f...
ssvsa: Road, fell, hill, mountain, off-road, spikes or treadmill?
ptsp: Well, they'll be used mostly on the road, but mostly for walking rather than running, though I would want a grippy sole. Like these (exhibits foot, clad in existing shoe) though hopefully longer lasting but equally wide-fi...
ssvsa: Road, fell, hill, mountain, off-road, spikes or treadmill?
ptsp: Mostly road, a bit of off-road. Unfortunately I would prefer if they were neither white nor fluorescent, though I understand this will significantly reduce...
ssvsa: Which brand?
ptsp: I am unfortunately inexperienced in the choice available. Width is the second-most limiting factor. I had some of an earlier model of those when I was fourteen and they were OK, though obviously my feet were a li...
ssvsa: Well, there are these and these. As is BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS to anyone with even just the faintest idea about the organisation of shoes on the shelves of a specialist running-shoe retail premises, starting at the bottom-right and moving upwards-leftwards moves through the off-road shoes into fell/mountain shoes in order of unit mass and pronation-correctivity.
ptsp: Hmmm. Do you have those in a European size 46, whatever that might approximate to in this non-European brand?
ssvsa: *tchoh* I'll go and have a look.

SHOP 2, TEN MINUTES LATER:

ssvsa: Don't have 46. There are these in 47 and this other sort in 45.
ptsp: Thank you.
ptsp: Unfortunately, neither fit. The 47 are just wide enough but far too long. Observe what I believe to be referred to by professional shoe-shop employees as the "footbox" creasing quite extremely with every step.
ssvsa: Meh.
ptsp: In this other style in size 45, please note how my little toe overhangs the side of the shoe, only fitting in in the first place as it happens to be placed between these two bits of webbing.
ssvsa: So? And?
ptsp: Unfortunately it seems neither shoe is suitable.
ssvsa: This is all we have.
ptsp: I regret I shall be unable to spend any money in your shop. Good-bye.