Wilted

I am awake at 3am. I hope just for a little while. My eyes feel dry and chalky.
I am writing this in some word processing software before I post it on blip. No more missing words.Although I am sure something could go wrong. My head is swimming a little from the beers I had and enjoyed on my stoop in the evening light of yesterday. I need to sit outside in the evening listening to music more often, it seemed to teleport me back in time just a bit, and I always like that.

Yesterday was just off. Not just the journal entry, or the never showing student- it continued to just be slightly awry all day. However I did manage to paint and it wasn't half bad. I need to start a new painting, so I can stop beating up this canvas that I have been working on for a month. I don't work on things for long periods of time, this is not like me.

I am drinking some water. Every now and then a strong gust of wind rattles the old windows in their frame. I have to remind myself that I said April, May, and June are going to be about working hard. I can't let people get to me or throw me off course. Yesterday I let them.

I don't remember any of my dreams, and I didn't feel the breeze. This is another good reason to go back to sleep and try again.

Tomorrow (today) will be a better day. I have to get my taxes done (April 15th is the deadline here). I want to stop eating eggs (yuck) and cheese again (I was a vegan for 15 years). And if I am honest, my drinking isn't doing me any favors (again). This is what I do, I make grand plans for myself and then try to change everything at once. I have a lot of rules. I wish I didn't.

It is only April 6th, there is still plenty of time for me to work hard this month. I must try.I have written this before taking a photograph, I wonder what will be in the box above these words. Keys? Scarves? Hands? Feet? Your guess is as good as mine, but you already know what is there...

I suddenly wonder why I thought this was a good idea to write longer journal type entries here, I suddenly feel exposed even though I never say that much. Okay, a quick snap, more water, post this, and sleep.

Now I know what the image is as well (by the way I decided a straight shot was in order, not that I think it is a particularly good one , or that it means more because it is untouched) - it just seemed to fit, and because these flowers are wilted, this music came to mind.