On the crest of a wave

Well, not quite, but details of the new management structure at work were revealed to us this morning (or Friday night if you happened to be working late and had your email open) and I'm now answerable to a chap in London who I actually get on with (and I'm meeting both him and the chairman for a pint after work on Wednesday to discuss some changes to my role - the by-product of that being I'll likely not make it to Unstaged...).

Anyway, more nonsense from the Daily Wail today, including the insane rambling harpy Jan Moir (her of the now-famed Stephen Gately article). However, a quick check of the comments on any article and you can see they're simply pandering to their reading public. Let's have a look-see will we... Ooh, let's....

"Grandmother's six month court ordeal for leaving a cardboard box next to a recycling bin" I'll admit, it seems barmy. She'd left the box between bins so it wouldn't blow away because the bins were empty and the council was going to take her to court. The Wail, erm, wailed, that her mother and daughter were both in hospital, which as we all know is a legitimate defence in a court of law.

The online comment which summed up the situation perfectly is this: "Was Communist Russia any worse than Labour's Britain?"

Actually, John Salkeld of Sheffield, yes. Yes it was. Quite a bit worse actually. Unless, without me knowing, the UK government has set up gulags on Shetland; we're queuing round the block for bread; and I'm about to disappear for suggesting that those in control of us are raving lunatics.

Nope. Still here it would seem. Yep. Definitely.

One story without any comments allowed was "Wayne Rooney and Ashley Cole's horror as tourist, 17, dies after 'drug collapse' in Royals' nightclub." It must have been awful for them, witnessing such a shocking event. This from Wayne Rooney's spokesman (presumably because Rooney couldn't manage the longer words himself), "As Wayne was leaving the club he was asked - as were all other guests - whether he had seen anything. He simply told police that he had seen nothing and was not aware of any incident."

You can sense the horror he felt at an incident taking place sort-of-in-his-vicinity that he didn't know anything about can't you? Virtually palpable. CONCENTRATE ON THE FACT THAT A YOUNG PERSON HAS JUST DIED AND NOT THAT A COUPLE OF NON-ENTITY FOOTBALLERS WERE NEARBY YOU SHAMBOLIC EXCUSE FOR A NEWSPAPER!

When exactly do you think Daily Wail reporters give up on that dream of becoming a serious and respected writer?

And then...

Oh, hang on, that's a knock at the door. There appear to be some men there. Dressed in some sort of military uniform. What does that badge say? Military Police. Oh no. I think I've made a big mistake... What's the weather like in Shetland just now??? VOTE UKIP!!!