cryptic sister

It is now 2:22a.m.
I just had the horrible sensation of waking up with my heart pounding furiously in my chest.. Screaming. "Wake up. WAKE UP. WAKE UP!!!"

That sudden drummer in the night, letting me know, that I screwed up yet again.
That I ignored what was bothering me and that I shared just enough but not too much, and I am not letting this wave break just yet.
My heart thumping, and the panic alerts me, "you went to sleep and you avoided, but I will not let you go that easily"

I can't finish what I started.

But I am awake now, and the adrenaline is still with me, and perhaps in the dark of this hour I can focus and do what I need to do. I am not looking for answers, I am not looking for help. I am just at the deadline, and so close.