Lyra's First General Election

Lyra had to think long and hard about who to vote for. She was instantly put off the labour party - her experience of labour was one best forgotten. She had been so comfortable curled up inside mummy beforehand, such a rude awakening.

Most other parties didn't seem to have much to offer a five and a half month old - until she came across the Baby Party Party's manifesto. It spoke straight to her. There were promises of limitless ice cream for the under ones, night long parties, milk fountains in all parks, tax credits towards tickling machines and the elimination of bumpy pavements (oh so terrible when you are woken from your slumber by the rumble of a bumpy pavement).

The election is going to be a close run thing. Lyra understands there may be a hung parliament - she believes that means all MPs will swing from door bouncers whilst they discuss policy...