where is your heart when it's not at home?

Sunday, and the first time I have had a chance to sit down, take pictures and type.
There are not enough hours in the day.
I have slept more in the last 24 hours than I have in 2 weeks. It was well needed and I let the exhaustion pull and suffocate me until I had no choice but to sleep. The heat helps, too. We have had several days here in the triple digits. California is Hell.
Friday I met my girlfriend for drinks, again. We both were dateless, again. That's ok, though. She is a perfect fill-in, anytime.
We had a conversation about harboring hate. I told her I really fight the feeling of disliking certain people. It doesn't feel good, and anyone who knows me knows that I have always been a lover and not a fighter. I don't like the heaviness of it all. and I have tried over and over to tell myself that just because you are nice and courteous to others does not mean they will return the favor, and it shouldn't be expected. I just want to be a good person and I am constantly disappointed by people and their action and their lack of care or concern and this makes me angry. Only there is nothing I can do about it but try and rise above it.Let ME be the better person. It's just hard.
After having been the nice guys for years and years, I am tired of constantly finishing last. I once read something that said, "being nice will get you smiles, being a bitch will get you miles."
And I'm starting to think that it's true. Only it doesn't fit. It feel like a cheap suit that's been in the laundry too long.