the other half

Half of me wants to a better person and just let things go.
The other half wants to put my fist through a wall.

It's hard to be a nice guy all the time when you are constantly reminded that you will finish last. This isn't the first time I have mentioned this topic, but here I am again fighting to bite my tongue, knowing that there are some people who will NEVER hear you, they are nothing but a giant brick wall. I hate walls.
I hate my own walls.
This year has been incredibly hard and trying on my patience. There is far too much to mention...
But I will say this, today N and I were talking, when I finally said outloud how angry I was inside, for countless things, things that are happening and things that have passed, things I cannot change and things I won't try to change.
I have never felt so angry and frustrated in my life, and I don't know how to direct it.

I should probably put on some Bee Gees, again.