Last night I was in a horrible place

Last night was very hard. Timo went out in the evening and my hands and feet just went ice cold. My heart ached. I called my aunt. She wanted my best and I listened to her. "Don't show Timo that you care if he goes out! Keep your head cold". She meant well. I kept everything inside. I felt that I had tape on my mouth and I couldn't scream the pain out.

Bad night and morning. Then I talked to Barbro, my angel. She said to me that I had done exactly the opposite of what I should have done. This is not a competition. I should not keep my feelings inside. "Rip the tape off and throw it as far as you can! Then let everything out. GIVE SPACE." I cried on the phone and Barbro encouraged me of that. Suddenly I felt so light. Thank you my dearest Barbro!

I took my bike and went to Espoon keskuspuisto. When I rode my bike the wind was cool on my face and I had a moments feeling of freedom. I found my balance in the forest. I can feel the battle of the two animals. I was out for over two hours. The shadows of last night and morning still hangs over me. But I'm learning to make space and let it out. I am going to a better place.