For Jennie

Jennie is my sister and right now she's holding the fort.

She's the one staying with Dad, dealing with the hospital, cooking and running things. Jennie, I'm so grateful for all you're doing and the phone calls we're having. I know you're tired and I know it's frustrating trying to get information out of the hospital and set things up.

We're all tired. Dad is, I am and Mum was today too. Dad and Jennie didn't visit for long as Mum was uncomfortable and tired. It's early days but she continues to hold her own with some things going to plan and others not quite where they should be.

We've now passed two 24 hour periods post surgery, milestones that stack in Mum's favour. For now it's getting Mum through these first days, we'll worry about other things later.

I was late to bed last night and awoke completely wired at 4am. I hope that doesn't happen tonight. Work came and it went. In a sense it just doesn't matter. I muddled my way through. I think we're mostly sorting and packing for our shift on Friday from tomorrow onwards so I guess that helps. What doesn't help is the process of trying to get clarity re: leave. I'll get G to help tomorrow.

Today hasn't been easy. I haven't comfortably accommodated any of this. I feel like I'm in no mans land; I'm not there up north and nor am I fully present down here. Waiting and distance are hard.