Bottling it.

I bought these shoes many years ago from Joey D's and have only ever worn them once in public, and that was when I went as a pimp to a fancy dress party.
I actually love them, but I just don't have the bottle to wear them in the company of other humans for fear of being thought of as a t**t.
On top of that they are inordinately uncomfortable, much like wearing a vice with a barbed wire interior.
But, I have always thought that if I WAS ever going to wear them, it would be during the Edinburgh Festival........the place is teeming with t**ts, and so I could hobble along unnoticed.
There is, apparently, a certain premiere tomorrow night.....maybe that would be the time and place for them.....

.......but I wouldn't bank on it, if I were you.