Another One Leaves the Nest

A lot of parents will be experiencing this feeling over the next month.

Kids today have so many opportunities, and my husband and I, and their Gran have always endeavoured to ensure that ours can take advantage of every one of them which crosses their paths.

Tooli, isn't leaving us, well only for 4 days. This is the UK School Games West of Scotland Team boarding the bus for Newcastle. The photo is fuzzy and distant, because she doesn't need us to wait any more while she boards the bus.

As a parent you always dread the moment you have to "push" your child towards a goal.

I was a quiet child, hated brownies, hated guides even more, felt awkward at the Youth club and had a friend who was outgoing and loud, and as a result, I was J's friend - I suppose there were people who didn't even know my name.

It was only as I experienced the horrors of college I realised the need for a requirement in life to be outgoing and confident. Applying for the RN they told me I didn't have enough confidence, and the following week volunteered to speak to a group of 90 second years about seeking placements. I thought I would die, but knew I had to do it if I wanted to realise my dream. I understood what so many comedians say, "i realised if I could make people laugh, I'd be okay".

When the children were young, I encouraged them in everything they did. Always postive encouragement, never disparaging.

When I taught, I always told the kids in the class, no answer is a wrong answer, no question is a stupid question - everyone in the class is wondering the same thing as you, it just takes one of you to ask. Put your hand up, ask. Too many teachers are quick to laugh at a child if they think the question is "stupid". How to kill a child's confidence.

I remember dragging Tooli to Brownies - promising her that I only wanted her to try, to be good to her friend who really wanted to go. she would do it for her friend, but not for herself, but experiencing it, allowed her to see what fun it was. Now - She's a Senior Guide - distraught that the younger guides don't want to do more and get out and about more.

I remember Boy's first Wide Game with the Scouts after moving up from Cubs. He was terrified. I sat in the car with my little 10 year old, telling him that he would enjoy it, that older Scouts wouldnt kill him, that our neighbour's son would be there, and it would be all okay and let him out the car.

Then I went home to my mum, and cried for an hour for being a bad mum forcing him to do it. When I got back to pick him up - I couldn't see him. I looked around all the muddy faces, and then I picked him out - the smile was splitting his face in half... My tears had been worth it.

So for all of you parents out there, breaking your heart at your young ones testing their wings and trying out the big world. Push them. Push them will all your heart.

It's true what they say, if you love them, let them go.