The Baptism

Ok so Day 3 of Julies challenge is one of my 'beak days' (i've had to swap it) as i promised a friend i would photograph her baptism tonight. Before you read i think it is important to remember that i am not a Christian.

Laura, a friend (have not known her long), recently found a spritual path and tonight she took the oath to commit her faith in God by being Baptised. I went along with my camera to support Laura and like her other friends and family who were there i am pleased for her. I wanted to get a really good picture of Laura (or one of the other 4 people being baptised) being 'dunked' tonight however none of them really struck me like this image did. Here is Laura immediately after she had been baptised - her and her fellow christians prayed together as they welcomed Laura officially into the faith.

I hope Laura and the others find a long and lasting relationship with God as it is wonderful to see people believe in something with such passion.

Watching the proceedings tonight my heart was opened. Not to God - but to the beauty of faith and the beauty of the community that these people share. It must be an amazing feeling to know where you belong. It made me think about how much i love and worship my friends and family as these people love each other - related or not they are united by the love they have for God. It was humbling to sit and watch people of various ages sing in worship and literally hold out their hands to god ... many of them reaching very high and singing to what must have been heaven. Something hit home and made me respect the choice they have made more than i have ever done so before. I think my days of subtly mocking religion may have passed - i may take it a little bit more seriously from now on and show them the respect that is rightfully theirs.

So do i feel differently about religion? Am i converted? Have i just had a life changing experience? NO! But tonight has helped me figure out a little bit more about why i don't believe - it helped with perspective. Tonight i heard a lot about how god finds / saves people and that people return home to god as the maker. I learbed that these people follow their faith as it was a calling and that through faith they know where they fit into this world.

As the title of my journal suggests i consider myself a bit of a lost soul and i am looking to be found... but not by god.

I am not ready to find god - I have not yet found myself!! I am still looking for myeslf and i know that it is a search that may take many years, possibly all of my years!!! But i know now that until i find myself and until i believe in me and my place upon earth i will never be ready for anything more ...