Oh yeah...

Mother! Things Must Change Around Here

Untidy your bedroom.
It's looking far too neat.
And, unless you answer back,
I'll put you in the street.

Throw your coat down in the hall.
Don't hang it on a peg.
Burst open several bags of crisps
and devour them like a pig.

I hope you're not intending
to wash behind your ears.
If I find your neck's not dirty
there will be some tears.

And at every opportunity
you must watch TV.
I shall be very annoyed
if you're not glued to the set like me.

As for cooking, cleaning, laundry
- those jobs are still to do.
So cooking, cleaning, laundry
- those chores belong to you.

And, last but not least,
the most important new rule -
I shall be staying at home.
You will be going to school.


Poem copyright Bernard Young.
From Wanted Alive by Bernard Young, Hands up Books, 2004.