in a galaxy far, far away

"Yeah, it's like a new fing. Like in meetings where you stand up, like they go quicker, and like you waste less time yeah? And like, not having a coffee in a meeting so no-one hangs about, it's just in there, job done, no messing. Well this is like a new fing, like Japanese yeah? Like low tables they have, innit? So like there's normal chairs yeah, but like the table's right down low, like on the floor, so like you can't put stuff down on it or lean on it to write, and if someone does bring in a cup of tea yeah, like they can't put it down, so like they can't take notes and drink a cup of tea. Saves loads of time. Like as well there's no table to stick your phone down on, yeah, so like you can't sit there and fiddle wiv it or use it, and you can't like look at the phone underneath the table right, where like no-one can see it, obviously apart from the bloke next to you yeah? So like obviously everyone feels a bit daft sitting at a table with no legs yeah, so they're like uncomfortable yeah, so they finish up quick and don't waste time. An investment for saving manpower, this is. Course, it's more expensive than a normal table, but then it saves you money in the long run, plus it lasts longer as it's not getting used yeah? Like it doesn't get worn and scratched by phones and pens yeah, and by getting all the teacup marks wiped off it, and the biscuit crumbs wiped off. There's this other fing which sort of works like this, makes everyone feel uncomfortable, but it's like this drinks machine yeah, like a special one just for a meeting room, but it's like remote control, and depending on how long you want your meeting to go on, you use the remote control and you can stick like laxatives, or them other fings, like laxatives but for weeing, and make them get added to the drinks people get when they go in. Obviously, you have a normal table in that room, wiv like legs and that. So they go in, get like a drink yeah, sit down, start meeting, but you've like controlled like how much laxative they get, so before too long they're all desperate, yeah, to finish up and head out. Diuretics. Wastes a lot of time for the people spending all their time in the fucking bog, but saves you time, if you're the one who's got the remote for the machine anyway. Yeah."