'the quiet things that no one ever knows'

brand new

found this creepy old abandonded barn on my way to Teag's this evening.
took this shot (QUICKLY) because I was pretty sure I would be ax murdered if I hung around any longer.


today went pretty well with Teagan. I realized today, as she calmly (calmly!) climbed into my lap and held my hand, that we're a lot alike. Teags gets really frustrated with the world. she's a smart girl, but has no way of communicating what's going on inside of her, and so she freaks out.

granted, I'm lucky enough to be able to get most things across. but I was trying to explain to someone yesterday about how my mind works, how it conceives myself, the people around me, and the world I am, and i just couldn't. what's most frustrating is that it I can clearly remember a time that it wasn't like this.

driving home, I realized how many people that I've really cared about over the past year or two that I have driven away because of this. I get frustrated that I can't explain what's going on, I freak out, I push them away. I want to change this. I don't want to keep hurting people I love.

so today I swallowed my pride started taking some steps that I've been avoiding since the beginning of the semester.

it was a big step for me.
I hope it is a baby step for us; for me and the few people that keep on supporting me no matter what shit I pull.

I am really trying this time.