at this point she had no idea what she would be walking into that night...
....

but if you ask me, she already looks defeated.
**********
momentum

she feels herself sliding and it worries her ever so slightly. she's been so happy, and she's been making sure to mention it to people, and she's been sure to remind herself she's been so happy. but now she's sliding.

It creeps up ever so slightly. she knows she is exhausted from an extended and over social weekend. she knows she was starting to feel run down, even perhaps a little sick. she knows her routine was changed to make room for family and needed connection with them. she didn't buy any flowers yesterday and last weeks flowers are faded and wilting, but not it that pretty way, but in that sad way and so she knows shes sliding.

It is almost noon and she hasn't made it to the studio, but she really doesn't need to, she knows she won't be able to focus and paint while she is there anyway. Her throat is tightening up. She has a meeting to attend, she has a schedule to type up, she has things to deal with, but she can't quite do it. Her reserves are empty. she knows that first thursdays take it out of her, she reminds herself all the people drain her, she knows this. But still she wonders if that wire in her brain has been tripped yet again, if she is really going down there, or if this is really just a result of that busy long weekend, of being slightly run down..

she will have to wait and see.

she's been so happy, and she just doesn't want to be so vigilant...