Sleepless In Scotland.

Having successfully crossed the Celtic Twilight Time Zone Border, my body clock was shot to shit, hence the sunrise shoreline shuffle.

The last time I was on a beach this early in the ay-em, it was on a Greek island whose name is famous in small but well-dressed circles, a bad taste in my mouth and a bottle of ouzo on its way to a dress-up party as "An Enema".

Ouch.

Och The Noo, Sweet Lamb Of Jesus, (I picked up a praisebook in the airport, cheap), I took a tour of this fine burgh.

Conclusion Number One; There must be an AWFUL lot of sick Scots. I have never seen so many disease-oriented charity emporia per square inch, anywhere, ever. And they are not even cheap! Listen, sweetie, I once pimped pre-loved paperbacks for a living, and what you are charging for a dog-eared Dan Brown literary disaster is nothing short of "chugging". (For the ignorant, a "chugging" is a charity mugging).

Conclusion Number Two: There must be an awful lot of poverty stricken Scots, especially in North Berwick. Not ONE! repeat ONE! single pub open at 8.30 this morning, even though I knocked on several doors. (At least they looked like pubs. They had names like pubs. The only thing different was that they were not open, like pubs are, all the time.) So, I conclude that the Scots are too destitute to drink breakfast, and this economic situation will never improve if they dont apply some blue-sky parachute thinking, and inject some sweet Euros into the local coffers by welcoming vagrant Irishmen with pockethole burning cash at all hours of the day and night.

Conclusion Number Three: The Scots cannot be too bright, as mentioned above, in the whole macroeconomic model of fiscal recovery. I was charged £5 into the Belhaven Brewery, where, after a suitable amount of appreciative cooing and ahhing over steel pipes emitting noxious non-alcoholic odours in a very high-tech manner, my pure gentleman of a guide (and fellow photographer) Frank, said that I could, basically, drink as much as I wanted.

Happy Days.

Bugger Berwick.

Belhaven, I will be back.....




Ps (Hope to see a few of youse tomorrow,,,,,,,)