Takes the Biscuit!!!

I found a NEW diet and exercise regime just in time for Christmas (sorry for using the "C" word)!!!! ;-(

Rules For Diet

1.If you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2.When drinking a diet drink while eating chocolate, the calories in the chocolate are cancelled by the diet drink.
3.When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.
4.Foods used for medicinal purposes never count. Example: hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee cheesecake.
5.If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6.Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
Example: Hotdog, buttered popcorn, Nachos, family bag of M&M's.
7.Cookie pieces contain no calories, because of the process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.
8.If you are in the process of preparing something, foods licked off knives and spoons have no calories.
9.If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.
10.Food eaten at Christmas parties has no calories, courtesy of Santa.

Remember: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

CALORIE BURNING ACTIVITIES
Jumping to conclusions . . . . . . 100
Swallowing your pride. . . . .... .. .50
Passing the buck . . . . . . . ... . .150
Pushing your luck. . . . . . . . . ... 250
Wading through paperwork .. . .. 300
Jumping on the bandwagon .. . .. 200
Balancing the books. . . . . . .. .....25
Running around in circles. .. . . .. 350
Climbing the ladder of success . 750
Adding fuel to the fire. . . . . . . ...160
Wrapping it up at the day's end. . .12

To which you may want to add your own favorite activities, including:

Opening a can of worms . . . ... .. .50
Putting your foot in your mouth. . 300
Starting the ball rolling. . . . . . .......90
Going over the edge. . . . . . . . ... ...25
Picking up the pieces after. . . ......350
Counting eggs before they hatch.. . . 6
Calling it quits . . . . . . . . . . . ......... 2

I should be a size ten in no time :P Somehow I think the picture gives the best advice tho :)