Stationary

Leeds train station - no sign of Harry, Ron or Hermione on this platform but the city always reminds me of this classic exchange.....

Alan: Urrrgh...I can't breath... I can't breath...
Jed: Look, Alan, I just want to be your friend, that's all.
Alan: I'll be your friend.
Jed: Oh, great. Will you come and see my brother-in-law next weekend?
Alan: I'd love to.
Jed: Bet you can't guess where he lives.
Alan: Erm?
Jed: Go on, have a guess.
Alan: Er, Nottingham?
Jed: No.
Alan: Oh. Er...Chester?
Jed: Where?
Alan: Ches - Chester. Near north Wales off the M56.
Jed: No, Leeds!
Alan: Oh, Leeds.
Jed: Can you smell gas?
Alan: Er, I think that's my breath. I ate a scotch egg. I thought it would have broken down by now but I think I'm slightly constipated. Surprising, really, considering the circumstances.
Jed: Sorry, Alan, I didn't know. Are you alright?
Alan: Yeah.
Jed: So, we're friends then?
Alan: Best friends.
Jed: Oh! In the whole world?
Alan: Pretty much, yeah!
Alan: Thank you.
Jed: Well, now you know where I live I hope you'll not be a stranger.
Alan: Who...de...ver - str...no, won't be...one...
Jed: There'll always be a kettle on here.
Alan: Oh, great.
Jed: I'll see you next week, then. We'll have that pint.
Alan: Yip.
Jed: Go and see my brother.
Alan: No way you big spastic! You're a mentalist!
Jed: Come back! I'll rip your bloody head off! Come back!






Anyway the journey was 3 hours - lucky there was nothing on the track!