Christmas Hill

Hello blippers. The fool on the hill here. I've never got into this assignments lark mainly because I find it hard enough to fulfil my own brief (anything goes) never mind an assignment brief.

Nevertheless those kindly folks at Blipcentral have pestered me (It would have been rude to decline a third time) to do whatever this is that I'm now doing.

Christmas Hell. Were ever two words more made for each other? Judging by the sack-load of blips on this subject I think not. We are all beside ourselves withexcitement at the prospect of yet another Chrimbo!

It seems that the main Hellishness stems from going out to mingle with those bloody awful crowds which we are all part of so we can go and buy anything to get us all off the hook until next year. We are bombarded and coerced with promises and dreams of a never-to-be-attained Yuletide perfection by those cynical business empires But it never works - too many tacky Santas around for a start. And we always (by we I mean men) end up buying something totally unsuitable because it's what we'd actually like someone else to buy us. Did your dad really want a model Spitfire? Some people, on the other hand, are sensible and find ways to avoid this part of Christmas Hell without feeling bad about it.

However, You can't avoid the rest of Christmas, no matter how hard you try. The domestic scene is always affected in some way or other. We are all dragged (or rather pushed) kicking and screaming into whatever darkness it is that we keep the baubles and tinsel and trees in order to retrieve them to sit for yet another twelfth of a year in gloomy daylight (or in 90 degrees of heat if you're an antipodean).

What else constitutes Christmas Hell? Kitch and tackiness and sentimentality of course! It's all around us and most of us (but not all) are just a pushover for a bit of sparkle and sparkle and sparkle - and anyway its all for the kids isn't it? Bless their cotton socks.

Talking of which brings us nicely to families and friends. All those cards to write! And I heard somewhere that divorces are at their highest rate in the months following this period of peace and love. It's not all hell of course - some people look quite happy and relaxed.

Never mind. We can all look forward to a frantic morning getting woken up at some unearthly hour by the kids, trying to prepare the dinner whilst drinking sherry at 11am and then sitting down to some nice sprouts and whatever else mum bought to see us through this bleak period of shoppinglessness. Followed of course by too many chocolates sitting in front of a roaring widescreen TV and falling asleep. Then, come Boxing Day, we can all start planning our summer holiday.

Assignment for next week (with a nod towards the season) is "Tradition". Interpret that as you will, but don't forget to tag your entries 'assignment25'.

Have a stress-free weekend at the shops!