We are not amused

On so many levels.

The waiting, the not knowing - it's driving us all crazy.

Speculation is not good for the soul, particularly when the speculation causes us all to question ourselves and what we are doing.

Anticipation, in some circumstances, is a very good thing. It heightens the senses, makes us aware of what's happening around us, but anticipation is only ever good when there is a good thing waiting for us at the end. Christmas. Birthday. Wedding Day. Other things...!

Anticipating something that is not to be looked forward to - well, that makes us crazy, makes us double guess ourselves, makes us wonder what we could have possibly missed. It makes us tired, stressed, ill and close to tears of frustration far too often in my case.

So, I am done with anticipating. At least, anticipating the worst. Just for tonight, maybe, because tomorrow will be another day where we will all wonder, and wait.

It's easy to say, as I said myself last week, lets just get on with the day to day - it's harder to implement my own advice when there is a little niggling voice at the back of all of our heads.

It's draining the creativity out of me. Hence another SP. Undoctored though - was actually not completely freaked out by my own visage!

On a separate note, my lovely boy is really poorly again. Corin took the day off with him today, and he appeared to be perking up a bit this afternoon. By the time I got home, his temperature was raging and he was like a rag doll. James won't take medicine. He has a real 'thing' about it - so when I thought I had pulled a fast one by getting some Calpol Meltlets and dissolving them into a drink (with his agreement after the big "Mum and Dad" pep talk from me and Coz), he took two mouthfuls, through his tears, and then just sobbed that he hated the taste. At least a bit went in! One of the worst things about being a parent is, for me, the sense of frustration at not being able to make it all better. It upsets me to see him poorly, particularly when he is rarely ill - he just seems to have had a rubbish run of things lately, poor poppet. Corin is being nursie whilst I go to work - which makes me feel even more guilty!

What else?

We ran out of milk 10 minutes ago. That means venturing into the arctic chill outside. As yet, no snow.

I really feel the urge to write - I've said it before. Need to be creative in a non numerical way. Need to express myself with words. Don't know where to start.

Cuddles with my boy. Night night.