It isn't how I feel!!

Just to clarify I'm not making a cry for help here. I've always been one for expressing misery and despair in words and although I often draw on my own experiences inside me is nowhere near as dark as sometimes the words (and today the picture) might suggest. I've been fairly restricted as to what I can blip having promised no snow blips AND breaking my lens so that it has no focusing capabilities. Hopefully I didn't do too badly with this.

There have been times in my life where this picture would sum up every waking moment, every concious thought. Now I control all that and hopefully have reached some form of constant in my moods. Don't get me wrong I've not been through loads of bad stuff, just often percieve myself to have been through more than most. I haven't.

So whats the craic at the minute with me? Well I exist solely within the confines of the office and my living room, mixing up some hardcore construction industry training with a peppering of FIFA and for some reason the pantomime that is Coronation Street. I actually think I've gone into hibernation for the winter, occasionally venturing out to forage for tobacco, beer and some nibbles that inevitably play up my oesophagitis. This is a real condition that basically had no symptoms as long as I pay my Doctor £7.30 a month. If I don't it feel like my throat is permantently on fire and I'm miserable. However giving my doctors £7.30 for 28 tablets when he could prescribe me twice as many for the same price also makes me miserable. You get the picture.

I'm not always miserable by the way. Sometimes I experience deep joy and exist safe in the knowledge that I am a happy person. Like yesterday when I 'won' a new lens on ebay for £41. I felt happy then. I also felt happy when my nephew was born, the day we beat Hereford 3-1 at the Bank and when I thought I'd eaten all my Jammie Dpdgers only to go to the biscuit barrel and find one left. Those were Happy Days.

So something to accompany the picture.... do I go morose and head in hands, or buck the trend and find something that isn't written about some girl?

Rack up another, my chemical lover
Roll one for later as well
Night turns bright in the morning light,
Inside my mind it?s hell

Class A, and Class B
Is that the only chemistry
Class B and Class C
What will it take for you to see?

Artificial fondless, Superficial. Bondless
Binded only by mashed philosophy
Razor blade, Taylor made?
Constant for me, even over a tea.

But Class A and Class B
Is the only time you ever see
Class A and Class B
Elope on the arrival of clarity


(Thanks to Brett Anderson & Suede for the line Class A and Class B, is that the only chemistry from the song Chemistry)