Sparkling.....

....again, I know, I know - this is very like yesterdays but the world is just so sparkly at the moment I can't stip blipping things like this and it won't last forever - it just seems like it......

Some "sparkling" wit to go with today......

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.