I'm not okay.

And sometimes I wish you weren't okay either
Scratch that
I always wish that you were miserable

This is so easy for you
Making me feel as if I don't matter. I never mattered. At least not to you.
What you've failed to grasp is that I'm human.
That's right. Human.
Not some evil demon you conquered and left bleeding while you revel in your victory
I feel this. And it hurts more than you can imagine.
You are the first person in a very long time to make me want to end this. All of it. But I can't
Because then you would win.

But I guess you already have.
Congratulations. Our friends like you more than me. You're more fun, more spontaneous, more lovable.
And you and her are perfect. I get it. You rub my nose in it enough for me to have gotten the hint.
I still don't know what I did to deserve all of this

I left you. Months ago. And you were fine after that.
That is until someone decided that they hated me for it. And you were all for that, weren't you?
And then I let you use me, and you spun it. And now I'm broken yet again
It's just like last year
Except last year I turned to you. There's no you this time. No shoulder to cry on, no charming rebound for me.
I'm here. Alone. And losing feeling.

And now you won't return my messages.
You're burning bridges that I'm attempting to cross. And I'm going down in the fire.
They were my friends first. I don't care how immature that sounds.
We were fine without you.
Me. Them. No you.
I was okay then. I was living.
But now you've convinced yourself that you're the world they revolve around. And they all followed suit.

Sure, maybe I was naive in thinking that we could be okay after this. But was I really stupid to think that my friends would still be my friends?
But no, there you are to intervene. Keep them from going to the dark side. Keep them away from me.

I'm drowning

And I'm talking to myself. Going crazy. Posting to no one in particular on this godforsaken site.

You've won. I'm out.

Consider me gone.