Chatty Sprouts

Sprout 1: Well, it's the big day tomorrow, starring role for us on the dinner table!

Sprout 2: Yes, I know, but why do so many people hate us? What did we ever do to hurt anybody?

Sprout 1: Apparently we're a tad on the bitter side, people like sweeter food these days.

Sprout 2: I'm not bitter about anything, I'm a very chilled and relaxed sprout, and I'm the sweetest little thing you could ever hope to meet.

Sprout 1: You're only chilled because you've been in the fridge!

Sprout 2: Ah, I see. So if it's the big day tomorrow, why are we still living in the fridge - I thought we were supposed to be getting peeled and having crosses carved into our bottoms by now?

Sprout 1: Not in this household - it's all very relaxed here. We'll be cooked with bacon & butter tomorrow - no bottom crossing here!

Sprout 2: Yummy, I love bacon! We won't be pulled to bits like that science bloke on the telly does will we?

Sprout 1: Not at all. You'll stay whole right up until you give your great taste performance, when you'll be warm and sweet and enjoying your bacon flavouring.

Sprout 2: Speaking of warm, my bottom's getting quite warm now, what on earth are we sitting on?

Sprout 1: Apparently it's a hot-water bottle. Not sure why you'd put hot water in a bottle when it's supposed to be in a saucepan, and I'm really not sure why you'd put two sprouts onto a hot water bottle and take a photograph of them.

Sprout 2: Funny things humans.

Sprout 1: You're not wrong there, very funny indeed!