Irreplaceable

That's what he is.

Whilst a number of us met after school, to take some comfort in each other's company and to remember times with our good friend and colleague, a few miles away, he finally slipped away from us all. At least in the physical sense.

In many respects, I know that many of us are relieved, but only for the fact that we couldn't bear the thought of him suffering. We have known, pretty much since we received the news earlier in the week, that we would not see him again.

As the week has progressed, we have become more and more fragile. Emotions have heightened and swung, at times violently, between utter desolation, anger and frustration, and laughter at times gone by when memories have been created that will never be forgotten.

I will not dwell on where I am emotionally. My colleagues who read this will know, and will share the same feelings.

The phone rang at about 5.45pm - it was the Boss - I knew and I missed the call when I dropped my phone. When he called me back, I asked, he confirmed and I answered a question that I had asked earlier in the week - just HOW is he keeping it together. He managed because he had other people to focus on - and that's how I managed for the earlier part of the evening. Contacting people, explaining, asking for the news to be passed on appropriately to other colleagues.

It wasn't until I sat down in front of my computer and saw messages for him, that I utterly lost control. Step up to the plate James - big hugs for mum and kind words about what a great man he must have been.

The weekend will possibly not be the hardest part. Monday. That's when it's all going to hit us. The children. The families of our children. Lives touched by a man who was full of life, of rubbish jokes, of innuendo that would put Frankie Howerd to shame. A man who entertained, who was a champion MC at school performances, who couldn't keep a show on schedule, but Lord, did he entertain us. A man who danced his heart out, with rhythm running through his bones, but despite this could not clap on the beat. The man who frequently was the subject of our good humoured banter about his cardigan, his socks, his lesson plans on the back of fag packets or post-it notes. A man who believed that someone who baked their own bread had too much time on their hands. His bark was worse than his bite. He argued. He blustered. Sometimes he said the wrong things at the wrong times to the wrong person.

Most of all, a man who would do anything for you - who supported, who bypassed the system for all the right reasons.

He was more than 'just' Geoff.

He will leave a hole in our hearts and our school. But he is safe in OUR hearts and our memories and we will celebrate his life, when we have had time to grieve for him, privately and together with each other.

To his family - my thoughts are with you. To my colleagues - I have no words, but plenty of tears - but I will find something inside of me to support you on Monday however I can.

R.I.P GDe
xxxxx