Comparatives

Me and Bag-O-Pills. (This is an uncannily accurate representation of her, if I do say so myself.)

She doesn't like the door being closed when we're in the office together, lest I am unable to "control my devils".

She actually said that.

Her Holy Book says that if you are left in a room with a male who is not a family member, you shall be subject to inappropriate leering, and most probably sexual advances.

And she believes it.

It really does beggar belief.