LL Cool Jim

By LLCoolJim

Swan on Inn, boys

A couple of wilder mates of mine are involved with this joint re-opening. It re-opened the Friday before Christmas. It is affectionately known in North Leith as "Swanny's" (faither-in-law tells me there used to be one by that name at the top of either Cockburn/Victoria Street).

No real ale but their Guinness and John Smith's were all good. They have different lagers on tap. One is that pish Tennents. They have Tennents Extra Cold (and here comes my ad slogan) - "It's like Tennents, only cold" - If they should want to use that we can discuss a fee.


Anyway - opening day, an unknown fella (to them), but regular in days gone by, comes in and asks my good mate Davie (in his brand-new Swanny's polo-shirt) for the first pint.....a seminal moment, I'm sure you'll agree.

1st customer: "Lager tops please pal"

Davie: "Nae bother"

Davie proceeds to pour the pint.........all the way to the top without lemonade (not a great start but, you know, teething problems and all that).

1st customer: "Eh, mate, I asked for a tops"

Davie, looking at pint: "Oh shit, sorry mate"

Davie proceeds to a take a huge slug out of the pint and fills the rest up with lemonade.

Davie: "There you go pal, sorry about that"



Much laughter follows as Davie pours the guy another.

All the pals from this 'hood have given the boys 3 months. I dunno, we'll see.


(He followed this up by putting a vodka/lemonade and Bacardi/Coke in one glass for a girl who asked for the 2 drinks).


The pub is a "pure banter" pub and they actually have a joke-book behind the bar that all barstaff must study as part of the job. Great pool-table and great jukie.

The darts, dominoes, pool, golf and bowls teams are being formed.

Pop in if you dare.

I don't see it goin doon the Swanny just yet.

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