I'm really quite proud of this

.... and I'm not talking about the photo.

In all of my life leading up to the year 1991, I never imagined I'd be a mom. I really didn't. I just didn't think I was cut out for it, I didn't think I'd be any good at it, I worried I'd be too selfish to be able to give to my children exactly what they would need in order to become happy individuals.

And then I met my daughters. I've come to learn that we can handle appropriately anything that comes our way, if only we try. I'm an imperfect person and parent, but when I look at these girls and how wonderful they are and how HAPPY they are overall (yes, we are all sad or angry sometimes), I know we did okay. I don't think that their dad nor I could have raised them effectively alone, but we were a good balance when it came to parenting, it turns out. A bit extreme in opposite directions, both of us. But good together. Maybe these girls are the sole reason we were brought together. Or the most important reason, because I also believe that we learned a lot from one another while teaching our girls what they needed to become decent human beings.

Quite complex. But in the end, I'm happy. And they are happy. And he is happy. We aren't a happy family of four, but we are each individually happy and we are even happy together in moments - like when I woke up this morning and both girls were here, or when he takes them out to dinner and they laugh and laugh. Things didn't work out how we initially intended, but they've worked out, none-the-less. This beautiful face and beautiful heart are but one beautiful example.

5 Things I'm Grateful For Today

1) Seeing Torianna at work. She is so funny and cute and doing SO well at her job.
2) Late lunches with Erin. I wish she would eat at school, but I really enjoy sharing regular meals with her. There is something to be said for sharing food. I dunno. It's comforting.
3) Streaks of responsibility that run through both of them.
4) The snowmobile story went live today, and I'm happy with how it turned out.
5) One day closer.