Walk Like An Egyptian

It's been a while since we last heard from my fridge. Back in September it was training to become a motivational speaker, and a few weeks later, it became a cult leader.

Well, it's been lying low for a few months, since the cult went slightly awry. Persuading the toaster to commit ritual suicide led to all kinds of legal trouble, and it was perhaps for the best that it stayed out of the limelight and kept its handle clean. But tonight, as Hosni Mubarak has finally got the subtle hint that no-one likes him very much, our cool friend has been galvanised into action once more, and is already practising his lines to fill Mubarak's boots.

Is Egypt ready to democratically elect a fridge as its leader? Well, we somehow put George Osborne into a position of power, so stranger things have happened. Best of luck to you, Egypt; I hope you get the government you want. And if you do wind up with the fridge in charge, I can assure you that it has much to offer; for starters, there's a bottle of leftover barbecue sauce on the bottom shelf, and an unopenable jar right at the back. And believe me, that's better than what most politicians are full of.