Remembering

Today was the anniversary of my father-in-law, and my grandmother's last day, a few years apart.

My grandmother and I had finally become friends, having barely known each other when I was younger. After moving back to Oregon, I reminded myself often to stop and see her, succeeded less often than I reminded. She had a saying, "It's been a good life... don't know what for". The last time she said it to me from her hospital bed, she just said with a genuine and satisfied smile, "it's been a good life". I loved the strength and flexibility she had right up to the end of her life. She inspired me to keep moving, as Mother C does now.

I thought about my father-in-law today as well, his gentleness, broad smile and kind eyes. I thought about how he lit up when his "girlfriend" (Mother Comfort) used to walk into his hospital room or the room in the nursing home where he spent his last. He courted her anew from that bed, and she shined like a schoolgirl when he did. I knew him only for brief time, but I will never forget him. He found joy in little things and pretty effectively ignored the rest.

The last day I saw him, he said, "I hope I have said enough prayers for you kids". He knew. I took a Valentine card for Mother C to him, asked if he'd like to give it to her. He couldn't write, so he just dictated, "to my girlfriend". He asked me to put it in the drawer of the dresser by his bed and to make sure she got it. He knew. He passed before Valentine's Day, but that card was there for her. Today was a hard day for her. Tomorrow will be a wee bit better, then she'll start to anticipate Valentine's Day and Monday will be hard again. She will feel like she cant' go on, she'll talk a little bit about dying, but just around the corner will be Spring. The sun will shine, the birds will sing, and she will decide she may live to be 100. Thus has been the pattern for 5 years. I love her more every day.