Ye knaa what ah mean leik

Newcastle is a real party town. It was the scene of some debauched antics for the stag do of a mate this weekend. The night was spent in Flares (I know, I know) wearing three 70s afro wigs at once. We skilfully entered in small groups so as not to raise suspicion of being a stag party, lest we be frowned upon. Judging by the rest of the clientele, we really didn't need to do that. A group of stags from Sutton Coldfield doesn't register on Newcastle's trouble radar.

Geordies certainly are a feisty bunch, but there was also a Scouser at the end of the night in Flares, kicking off because he was being removed from the dancefloor. I gave him one of the wigs, which pacified him. I found out that the staple Liverpudlian saying 'come 'ed' is derived from 'come ahead'.

I lost a second wig in a takeaway to a girl called Gemma Clasper.

Anyway this was the tranquil view of the Tyne Bridge the next day, in stark contrast to the bleeding faces and female Geordie promiscuity displayed in Flares.

Absolutely great weekend.