The four seasons

Dear Heart,
Today Jacob turned 18, amidst wrapping paper and various siblings. He suits it very well, though I remember the stomach-churning fear that seemed to overwhelm me whenever someone mentioned my own fast-approaching adulthood. The idea that childhood is a past state isn't at all the problem, it's the dark knowledge that one is always a child wearing adult clothes that scares me so. Is that silly? I'm not sure any more.
Love, Lydia x