fifteen paper samples later

Bleg. Fifteen years after moving out of my parents' house my application for a replacement driving licence with the correct address on it (such as would very probably be required for the rental of a car for driving round NZ in May) I've finally got round to completing the form, finding a chequebook, writing the cheque, taking a picture, taking another picture when the first didn't work, cropping to the right size, guillotining it, fishout out my passport and getting a return envelope ready to enclose with the Special Delivery prepaid (so that whoever loses my passport on the return leg at least has to sign for it) all at the same time so that I might even get it sent off tomorrow. Sadly as my passport is apparently not digital I have to send it rather than get it swiped by a special machine in a post office somewhere. I do so hate having to give money to the post office; at least I managed to get my sister's birthday present wrapped and posted early enough to be able to use ParcelFuckup 48 rather than Costly Delivery Next Day at twice the price of the former.

Rather than spending the walk home doing fun things like look at people queuing for buses in the rain or attempt to use umbrellas in 30mph wind-gusts I had to go past all the known nearby stationer's shops to pick up sample paper for printing invitations and the like for people not modern enough to be invited digitally. Luckily the Approved Paper was one of the cheaper yet ink-friendlier varieties. I have already stated my intention to not provide any help whatsoever and not permit the use of MY printer or MY ink or MY computer or MY graphics manipulation software for the production of invitations, orders of fecking service and menus if they feature the use of cursive fonts or possibly even serifs unless extremely tastefully-done. I shall have to perhaps state it again at some point shortly since the floweriness quotient has recently increased. Alternatively I might just have to sneakily create additional non-shameful stationery for my meagre allocation of guests, most of whom don't need paper invitations anyway either due to direct involvement or prior i-Nvitation through the time-and-paper-saving medium of Internet.