never buy Mike a plant

(pictured: Mike's dead schefflera arboricola)

If you're ever, ever, ever thinking about buying me a gift for any occasion, do not buy me a plant.

The Hawaiian bonsai tree that Dan got me from his family vacation in October died recently. It's only now that I'm actually disposing of it properly (so behind on so many things!). This marks the second plant-related gift from a coworker that I've received and later killed. The first plant I killed was a friggin' cactus from Janet. A cactus, of all things!

I blame the death of the bonsai on four important things:
* I never gave it a name, and so never truly loved it
* It's a tropical plant, and it's been really cold these past 3+ months
* Our house doesn't get much sunlight
* I'm a lazy bum

So far, the only plant I've "grown" successfully is the shiitake mushroom log that Erica got me for my birthday (which I'll be eating from tomorrow, by the way). After all, it takes sub-Mike levels of idiocy to kill a fungus that needs no sun and barely needs water.