Crafts-MAN

Yes that's right - i own a tool chest as of today. I place all my tools that i dont know how to use in it. It looks manly - i will go into the garage on the weekends and bang them around pretending that im building something or fixing a carburetor (had to google that spelling).
I will play Whitesnake as loud as i can can while i take small breaks from man work to chug from my ice cold 16oz tall boy of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
I will smear engine grease on my face and spill gas on my shirt (strategically).
When my friends stop by i will wheel out from underneath my car and only speak in words like "ball bearings", "posy-traction", "2x4" or in fractions like "three-quarter" or "five-eighths" - whatever that size is...
I will begin to wear sleeveless shirts and steel toed boots - just incase i need to kick something really hard - i will need steel in my shoe....
I will scoff at protective goggles or gloves - why? because i'm a man - i own a tool chest...

Today i bought a tool chest at Sears... for i am a Craftsman... a Man that Crafts....