Death of a...

tree.

You thought I was going to say Salesman, didn't you. Anyhow, today was a day for things falling down - and no it had nothing to do with my chinos going south while crossing the High Street, that I'm sure would be another story. This was the day our neighbour's tree - a Copper Beech, I think, reached the end. Dead from the waist up for several years, it had been standing forlorn, with only a Song Thrush to keep it company. Every time the wind gusted, it threatened to fall through a garden shed, summer house, arbour, water feature, fence or house. This guy, monkey-like, almost swung from branch to branch with his chainsaw hanging from his belt, gradually trimming it down to a trunk.

But the tree wasn't the only thing that came down. And no it wasn't my trousers. Sorry to disappoint you. It was our Deluxe Rotary Laundry Airer, as the label said. I heard a creak, then another and then saw washing descending towards the lavender. Air Crash investigators would no doubt quickly ascertain with a few X-rays that it was metal fatigue. I could see immediately that it was rust. I knew I should have bought the Executive Airer instead.