Umm... It's flats isn't it?

Yes, yes it is. It's flats. I'm testing a theory here. Bear with. Sorry I meant 'bear with me' I'm not one of these yuppie twats who drops a word from a sentence because saying a full sentence is too much effort.

The girl in this shot was following the guy. Probably. I dunno. This is in Lincoln and I took it from a McDonalds car park where I waited for thirty minutes for an ex offender to turn up for a course. I'm not meant to pick him up but apprently walking quarter of a mile is too much effort. You'd thought after having been banged up that a slow mooch along a warm street would be heaven. Not so.

I didn't even have a McDonalds whilst I waited. I took photos. I caught a 23 stone gut lord marching in for his breakfast of saturated fats, but due to not having a wide angle lens I didn't get much else in. There was a girl on a bike but I think I'll save that for my own *ahem* private collection.

I have a dilemma I'm sure you lovely people will help me with. I have next week off. I want to go to Cornwall / Devon. I have no money. I plan a bit of a blipmeet down there, some chilling on the beach letching at girls out of my league and a few nights shitfaced talking to strangers who probably think I'm weird. That's where you come in (not the strangers bit).

Send me money if you have any spare. Find me cheap accomodation. Please. Nice one. I estimate I need about £300 in addition to the cash I already have. If I don't raise the cash I envisage a week of sitting around with Kirky drinking.

Might be a plan actually.

No moans about the weather from me: I sweat profusely anyway so on a warm day at least I have an excuse. I have got badly burnt but it covers up my prominent birthmark which I'm happy about. Besides the warmer the weather the less clothes all those single yummy mummys wear.

I'm genuinely not a pervet, I swear. The warm weather brings the worst out in me.

(Speaking of the worst of me I got bored Saturday evening and did this as I remember fondly times gone by. Incase your interested. Might give you more of an idea of the twat I used to be)