I'm not good at flowers...

... so here's some funked-up dead and dying stuff instead.

Today started badly after another weird night of an hour of ultra-deep sleep followed by four of anxious wakefulness then another crash out when I should have been getting up.

Africa in dull pinkish-grey wasn't the cheeriest sight either.

After a bit of a wallow and a whinging phone chat fretting about not being able to remember things, I inexplicably saw the funny side and couldn't stop laughing at myself and my lack of marbles. I laughed so long and hard my ribs hurt. I haven't laughed for a month and it felt good. Then it turned into tears and that felt good too. I've been in a sort of half-life of fear and drugs for weeks and feeling very little, but down to only 3 meds now instead of 12 and I feel like whatever is "me" is gradually coming back.

After that the postman delivered a package which made me cry again, in a good way - more about that tomorrow hopefully.