In contemplative mood tonight. It's been a tough week. Struggling with resources due to council budget cuts whilst trying to keep staff morale up. Achieved - but struggle with my own. Two of my service users passed away. In their twenties with severe disabilities but their parents devoted their lives to them and now they have this huge expanse of time to fill. And they would give that back in an instant but are equally relieved their children have no more suffering and struggles to cope with. Such a huge contrast of emotions. I have no idea how carers manage. They are mostly such lovely, humble, appreciative people whose whole life centres around making sure their loved ones are happy and cared for. I visited one of our centres yesterday and called one of the service users by his name when I arrived. He is an unforgettable character! The manager rang me today to say how happy he was all day about his 'magic biro'. Peter is in his 50's and sits on the door all day signing visitors in and out. He has a severe learning disability but loves his job. The fact you remember his name makes him smile all day. It makes me smile when I see his face light up when I use his name. So fab to see that. I just love it. Then he moans the pen doesn't always work so I tell him it's magic. If he makes someone smile - it will write. Well it seems to keep writing so he must be making lots of people smile. (it might have helped that we replaced the pen - but he is still doing his best to make everyone smile :-) just in case)

It just struck me leaving work that however tiring and demanding it seems when you have children - you so miss it when this time is gone. I pick up my new car tomorrow and have to get up at some ungodly hour. A colleague commented that he is up at that hour every Saturday - watching his 5 year old at swimming lessons! Happy days - but we don't always realise until they are over. They should be cherished but we are so exhausted that doesn't happen. It's all wrong really.

So my blip tonight is of a time I cherish. Memories of a lovely holiday in the Isle of Skye. Climbing my first ( and only!) munroe and getting a limited edition print 'Above the clouds' by Diana Mackie as a memory. Plus driftwood from Loch Coruisk. Such a beautiful place.

I hope Emma and Adrian you find peace in a place as beautiful as this. Emma, you always made me smile. Adrian, you scared the s**t out of me! Rest in peace. X