Conspirators

"Look here, old chap, as soon as she goes out I'll get online and order another delivery of clotted cream and smoked salmon on her account."

"B-b-but what if she comes back before you've finished?"

"Chill, grandpa! Just distract her - puke on the sofa like you did last time."

"She shouted at me and then the dog chased me..."

"Don't be such a wimp. Cream! Salmon! Are you in or out?"

"Shh! She's coming back for her camera - pretend to look cute!"