Coz and his cats

Shortly before this, Sparky (closest to Corin) was stood behind Corin's head, licking it. Silly kitties.

The house is, indeed, very quiet.

Based upon my experiences of residentials with children from my former school, although the kids "should" be in bed by now, I suspect there will be chatting and such like occurring. I expect a tired boy back home on Friday afternoon.

Thanks for all of your responses yesterday to my spleen venting. Interestingly, I was contacted today. It wasn't what I was expecting in many respects, but much of it was. My maternal instinct to protect is clearly much stronger than I thought which is, I guess, why I continue to fume, rage and agonise over a situation which should really be cut and dried. I have allowed myself a few hours to formalise and write a reasoned and fair response, which is honest, forthright and open. I await a response. What I really want is for Jimbo to have the best of both worlds - his natural father, and the wonderful cat-hat wearing "Corin shaped Dad" (as AmErica put it so beautifully yesterday) - because to have them both in his life would be good for him. I'm not stupid and this is why I continue to battle to get the contact. If I didn't appreciate the value of two role models for my son, I'd have given up fighting for it a long time ago.

My big concern, if truth be told, is not what happens now. My concern is a "what happens if..." situation - we have discussed with James the worst case...what if I'm not here. He is clear - he wants to stay here, with Corin, the man who has brought him up for half of his life so far, with his friends, at his school, where he is familiar and comfortable. Yet, despite the fact that Corin has had greater and more significant contact and influence as a Dad, I think in law, despite our marriage, he does not automatically assume parental rights. I have to find out, and pursue this, to ensure that James is protected. That is a difficult thing to discuss with an absent parent without appearing to be arsey!!!! This is the thing that niggles me most - I feel guilty for trying to do the right thing because I don't want to come across as the bad guy!

I have many big things on my mind at the moment as you can tell.

And the pain diary gets bigger and bigger.

I miss my boy :-(