It's a puppet

A half day at work, and when I finished I did what any reasonable husband would do, went and bought her indoors a new sofa.

Naturally, I chose the sofa mainly to make sure it wasn't in middle age teal.

So naturally I chose old age beige and jobby brown for the suite. Except it's called mocha and chocolate and its a corner arrangement affair with cushions that scatter.

I went into dfs and literally chose a sofa in approxiametly 8 minutes.

The guy says can I help you, I went yes, where's the corner suites that come in dark colours and cost under a bag of sand.
Oh and none of your salesmen pish either. He was a weedgie so we get on fine with this blunt arrangement.

He went that one and that one and that one.

Right mate I will have that one. Job done

I do of course buy a daddy chair too, a curved semi circular armchair purely based on the fact It swiveled. I was blindsided by the gadgetry of the arm chair swiveling but I realise now that so does my computer chair and it was considerably less expensive. Oh well, done now.

A women in the shop says ooh aren't you brave buying a sofa without your wife being here. I tell her that I'm my own man and that it's not teal. She says well I like this sofa too but I will have to let my husband look at it. (Oh such empowerment there luv, women died giving you the vote and you can't buy a major purchase on 4 years interest free credit without consulting the man in the relationship. Women know your limits). Buy it, what's the worst that can happen.

So I try to sell her my old sofa which has absolutely nothing wrong with it, chocolate leather reclining three seater and two seater going cheap within the next five weeks awaiting delivery in east lothian........not that I'm indicating any blippers should purchase it or anything..... Cough

Also seen an ex display coffee table so I buy that too purely on impluse.

Get home to discover that Connie has fell out with her old dragon and its our nephew Yans birthday. Happy birthday bro.

The girls and I play pirate sword fights using our swords and hats from last night but this comes to a swift end when ruby stabs me in the town halls and while I'm rolling about the floor clearly in pain she finishes the job by beating me about the head and body with various parts of her cutlass. Holly by this time also has sore knuckles where I have rapped them with the hilt of my bendy plastic blade. It's a lot like playing conkers when you were
little someone always gets skint knuckles.

I tell her to belt up and do what a gentle loving dad should do and gave her a dead leg.

Ooh Chinese tonight and i will suffer x factor that clearly I am not interested in as I'm a bloke (but isn't Gary such a good judge) it's my ambition to tattoo my name on Frankie cocosas backside if the smug little git doesn't get booted out this week. not that I've been paying attention or anything because I haven't

I have put newspaper over the window as our blind has arrived but not yet been put up(by me)

Later in the evening Connie asks me what I'm looking at and I reply the only thing possible under the circumstances "Lacey, 18 from Bedford"

Today's picture................ IT'S A PUPPET!

Made by holly.

http://m.dfs.co.uk/sofas/half-price/jupiter/