Girls night with Lydia. Beer, pizza, Bridesmaids, nails, and a sleepover. How adorable, eh?

Talked to H for first time in a week. The reception was shitty, which made me very disappointed because I wanted to savour every single word he said to me. He kept asking me from the beginning what was wrong, and I kept saying nothing, nothing. Until finally I said I was feeling let down because I felt he didn't make enough of an effort to talk to me. He responded in such a beautiful way. He opened up his heart and shared with me how stresed out he is with his life. That he has to take care of his sick father, go to med school, study, do chores, while his mom works 10 hr shifts. He has to be the man of the house, a good student, among other titles. He said he feels like he is going to explode... I felt my heart sink- I am an asshole. Even after saying all that, he told me he promises to make more of an effort and that he loves me and thinks of me all the time... He said "I wish someone would call me up and ask how I am doing for once." Apparently, I am the only one of his friends who does that, plus the only friend he actually talks to on a regular basis. Which is interesting considering how freakin far away I live. Anyway, I told him everything about my recent debauchery. Its hard to tell someone you are in love with that you had sex with someone else....its really hard... but for the sake of our friendship to be genuine I had to tell him. I needed him to be there for me in the best way possible and that means I need to let him know everything; the good, the bad, the ugly. The way he responded makes me love him even more...

He said he just knew, after the first sentence on the phone with me that I had fucked someone. He said there was something peculiar and off about my voice, there was pain in my voice. I have never had a friend that could always guess what I was going to say because they just knew me so well... His encouragment is fulfilling and exactly what I need to hear.... I wish more than anything I could be with H. I want to spend my days with him, I want to be apart of his life, know his heart even deeper, I want to let him into mine, I want to be in his arms, I want to experience his kiss again... I want my habibi back... I'm falling deeper for him... All in all, H is one of the best friends I have ever had. I absolutely adore him.