Had a serious case of writers block over the past week, a term that I previously thought was just a made up term for not being bothered. However, a combination of lack of motivation and sitting down and not being able to even imagine up or string a sentence together proves it's existance.

However, a few things today that has made me smile enough to hopefully break the bogey.

Firstly, I was in Morrisons supermarket today at lunch time and was desperate for a pee, so I popped into the gents. On the wall there is a three urinals, above the middle one is an out of order sign. JUst next to this middle urinal is a black bucket. I am suddenly confused, is it there to catch a leak, or am I supposed to use it to catch my leak. I am debating with myself what to do and at that very moment who-ever was in the stalls let out an almighty noise. My god man, are you Ok ? Did you just pass a hedgehog. I make a snap descision that the bucket may not be a valid alternative, so use another working urinal and get out of there before the man in trap two has a hernia.

The weather is attrocious today, blowing a hooly, so after work I hit the gym and hurry home, when I get there I notice there is a plank missing from my wooden driveway gate, My immediate thought was something's hit that gate.

I'm just in time to take Holly to her weekly violin lesson. You may recall that I previously had to fix the ladies music stand. Caroline answers the door and says "oh I didn't think you would make it today what with the car crashing into the gate"


I sit in the car for half an hour and play tomb raider unti Holly is ready to be collected, no point going home to come straight back.

The music teacher has two adorable cocker spaniels and just as we are leaving she tells Holly and I that they both like piggy backs. She says what she does is get down on all fours, one of the dogs hops on her back and she piggy backs them around the living room, the other one waits patiently for it's turn.

I was like Caroline, that just no right, I throw sticks for mine.

Quick Holly, make a run for it, I wil destract her, you make a break for it.

Arriving home, I find that we have a power cut and Connie has lit some candles, I ask her what happened to the car and she advised that just as she was reversing out the gate, a freak gust of wind, whipped open the gate, the one thats buried in the hedge behind some chips and hasn't moved in about eighteen months, jumped out just at that very crucial moment of reversage and hit the car, instantaniously smashing the rear light.

I make a mental note that in the morning, before reversing out of the drive way to make sure the gate is firmly secured back in the non movement spot in the hedge, behind the chips, debris and foliage, before I attempt to reverse with the appropriate due care and attention.

We have about six safety matches left and Connie is just about to finish lighting her plate of tea lights, when I can see that her finger is heading straight towards one of the open flames. It's like matrix slow motion, her finger edging frame by frame closer to the candle, it doesn't stop until it is actually fully in the eppicentre of the flame. A full five seconds later, she screams and removes her finger, I cannot contain myself from laughing. Ooh, I bet that smarts a bit.

Connie doesn't deal with not having electricty very well and I have never seen her so excited when the lights came back on.