Red, to match my eyes

I plead guilty to raiding the garden fairy's Cyclamen patch again. In mitigation may I state that I did this while making 19 jars of Confiture du Peche, feeding an ailing garden fairy her lunch, walking the dog, loading, unloading and reloading various white goods which should be designated female use only, and in conclusion state that I'm an all round bon oeuf who retains his sense of humour without being able to Salsa, Tango or any other soft drink.