Joy cooks us dinner!

Today (Tuesday) was a tense day for me personally. Not one I looked forward to. The program:

Morning: appointment for *ProStop* laser therapy to stop smoking. I don 't want to stop smoking, but I have to if I want to keep my teeth. As I am typing this, it's Thu. eve, I'm 2 days smoke free and I am suffering bad.

Afternoon: visit to mother. All I will say is: worse than I thought & expected.
I wore the wrong clothes, I could feel her disapproving vibes.
She (mother) only spoke directly to Willem, avoided (read: ignored) me completely.

I ended up feeling completely incompetent, insignificant, tasteless, meaningless, the usual burden that I always was (all I ever did for my mother was make her fat when she was pregnant & it's my fault she never managed to lose the weight, so now she HATES me for being kinda slim), and veryveryvery small...

Evening: Dear little Joy cooked us dinner. I got to take off my shoes, put my feet up, cuddle Mango (the cat) and complain about my mother.
Bless her heart, Joy cooked us a lovely meal. Chico (Joy's boyfriend) hung up a dining room lamp under strict supervision of Willem and we just had a relaxed evening. Wonderful and just what I needed. Bless our family. I am such a lucky woman.