Nursery visit no 2

Settling in visit no 2 today. I had already arranged with the girls that I would spend half of the session outside the room do Henry could get used to things by himself. He was fine to start with, had a good chomp on some books and stroked some other babies faces/tried to pull their hair before seeing another baby crawl onto my lap and that was too much for him - he started really crying! One of the girls cuddled him and tried to settle him but he was looking at me as if to say "why are you cuddling another baby mummy?!"

In the end, I cuddled him just enough to settle him then I left the room, feeling like my heart was breaking as I went. It's such a weird feeling to see a stranger comforting your baby. I wanted to go to the office to watch him on the CCTV but the manager was out so I was stuck in reception with no way of getting back to his room (security lock on the door) or being able to see him. I could hear that he wasn't crying as his room is next to reception, so I sat there playing on my phone until the manager came back and let me back into the baby room. He was fine, and didn't even realise when I went back in the room, no smiles or acknowledgement at all!

I've been randomly crying at the thought of him starting nursery all day. I wish I'd been more sensible with money at uni and had saved more since starting work, so I could afford to take a whole year off. It's definitely going to be harder for me than him!

Today's blip is from a game of peekaboo - which is the funniest thing in the world at the moment according to Henry!