How to be a good mother (not)

1. When your youngest daughter will be going to gym club after school make sure you say, 'Enjoy gin later!' as you say goodbye to her in the morning, slurping your coffee like an old soak

2. When said daughter comes home tired and hungry in her lovely blue leotard, ignore her because you're studying and then give her a couple of dry cream crackers to eat.*

3. While she's sitting at the table hungrily looking for crumbs from the dry crackers, get your camera and take a photo of her.

4. Order birthday presents for your son, from Amazon, 3 days before his birthday and then admit to him the night before his birthday that nothing has turned up, so he won't be getting anything in the morning.

5. Find out that your eldest daughter feels unwell by reading it on facebook. Tell her via facebook that she does have a hot water bottle but don't go and find it for her.

I win, right?

*she did have pasta 10 minutes later, by the way - cooked by her father!

Our little Joel will be 15 tomorrow.
I hope Home Delivery Network pull their bloody finger out and finally send out his presents.