Tired / Funny old day

Thought Ben was going to fall asleep on the sofa after getting home from the shop. He nearly fell asleep on the bus coming home...



Today has been a funny old day. Tuesdays are always busy days: we fitted two groups and a jaunt to the supermarket in today. Ben rode his bike to the morning's toddler group (insert rant about how irritated I get about how much homeschooling gets dissed because apparently you never ever socialise or learn about sharing if you are homeschooled and yet bullying is still apparently rife in schools (that doesn't say much about socialising or learning to share in schools does it) but schools don't get the same kind of ignorant prejudice aimed at them) and back via the railway bridge and the stationers but I STILL can't print anything as I needed more than one colour cartridge and hadn't realised. Pit stop for lunch and then the bus to the breastfeeding support group (I'm going to resist ranting again suffice to say I don't know whether to hold my tongue or not at these places, but today I decided to keep my own counsel) (although my fledgling business got its first knock while I was there, from somebody questioning my credentials for doing messy art workshops) and from there to the supermarket and back home again.

At least the boys have been lovely today. Both of them! Ben nearly fell asleep on the bus on the way home but then so did I. And I introduced Ben to the shower this morning while Steve and Charley were still in bed. That was nice too.


The thing about me that I struggle with a lot is my need for approval. There seems to be this great gaping hole which craves approval from people. I crave to be liked. But to balance this, or perhaps to thwart it - who knows, I seem to be turning into a bit of a nut job the further along this parenting road I go. By nut job I don't think I mean mad. I just seem to be so different to 99% of the people physically around me that I do wonder if I'm on the same planet sometimes. (Thank goodness for the people I've met in other places!)

And on days like today when I have felt like I'm really not firing on all cylinders to start with (exhausted, not depressed, don't worry), it's very very easy to feel isolated and different and put yourself in a barricaded hole of your own making.



Anyway. I've found two mums who want to homeschool so I suggested we form a collaborative ;-)



Incredibly, both Ben AND Charley are currently asleep on our bed. I'm up to date with housework, both laundry and dishes. Amazing what you can achieve when your kids are in bed. And for that lady at the breastfeeding support group today struggling with a 5 week old baby feeding for half an hour every hour, it DOES get better. It really really does. Hang on in there.